Bad. Sad.

Well now that it’s been a good 2 weeks since I blogged… I have been in a consistent, down-in-the-dumps, depressed, sad, anxious, awful mood since basically the last time I wrote. So that is basically why I haven’t wrote. I’m talkin’ not just no motivation or desire to work out, but basically not even to eat. Food is just another pain in my ass on the day-to-day lately. I’m bored with food, nothing tastes that great, and when I do eat it’s been junky. Small quantities of junk, but still junk nonetheless. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep. I wish I could elaborate more on here but I am extremely miserable in one very big aspect of my life, and lately it consumes me. I’m surrounded by negativity and usually my morning workouts are the only time I feel at peace. That and at night when I’m home with John and we laugh and talk cuddle. Those middle hours are the ones that get me.

I can’t even describe my lack of workouts as lack of motivation completely because it’s borderline something else… I just don’t care. And that is something I haven’t felt in the 3 years I’ve been actively working out. Running and spinning and just sweating in general makes me happy. Yet lately all I think about is sleep, and so my hour long morning workouts, or heck even 20 minutes would suffice, have been filled with sleep. And sadly, not even good sleep. I’m so anxious that I wake up a ton in the night and can tell I’m not really fully asleep. Hello, stomach aches for the past 2 weeks straight. Plus waking John up with the nightmares I have when I am asleep. Yeah- miserable is the word to describe how I’ve felt the last 2 weeks. But as usual, I am not giving up hope and I know that this too shall pass. I had a great workout on Saturday morning that left me feeling pretty good for a few hours, so I know once I get back in the swing of things I’ll feel good for a larger part of the time again. I hate to use excuses, but seriously this weather? It certainly doesn’t help how I’m feeling.

So maybe for now I need to fake it til I make it, eh? But on the real- I need those middle hours of the day to be filled with something that makes me happy. If you catch my drift.

Have you ever hit a serious apathetic slump?

Has it ever been caused by the… “middle hours” of your day?

Rest Week

Happy Friday! And I guess Happy Memorial Day weekend, but I don’t really understand holiday’s since I work every single one of them. So go ahead and enjoy your time off while I continue to slave away… ugh.

This has been SUCH a blah week. Between the rain and my extreme allergies (so bad this year) I have wanted to do nothing but sleep. So that I’ve done. I’ve taken it really easy after the half marathon almost 3 weeks ago, just running a few times and doing some upper body work. But this week I just wanted to take time to rest and not be too concerned with working out. So I did. And you know what? First time ever I didn’t suffer from extreme anxiety due to it. I mean I’m a little moody this morning because I’m itching to work out now, but it gave me a chance to relax and focus on eating good. I’ve lost a bunch of water weight since I haven’t been working out as much and it has me thinking that every few months a couple days/week stretch of planned rest might do my body good! As much as I work out, sometimes I feel like I see no results even when I’ve been eating pretty clean. I know I need to do an even better job of watching what I eat sometimes, but more than anything I need to chill out.

With the hotter temps I’ve been craving huge salads again, and I totally forgot how easy they are to throw together for lunch and dinners! I’ve been buying my lunch way too much over the past month, so now it’s back to saving money and saving some calories. Here are 2 beauties from dinner this week:

Romaine, broccoli slaw, tomatoes, onion, sauteed green peppers, jalapenos, talapia, shredded cheddar with 2% greek yogurt and hot sauce as dressing. Tried to do a remake of a Chipotle salad bowl but with fish instead of chicken. So good!

Best salad I’ve ever made. Romaine, broccoli slaw, tomatoes, sauteed green peppers, goat cheese, brussels sprouts, and jalapeno chicken sausage with Trader Joe’s spicy peanut sauce and hot sauce. Incredible.

So yep, my week has consisted of work, salads, sleep, repeat. Definitely ready to be sweaty and full of endorphins!!!

WINNER of the CLICK protein contest: Shaunie Martinez! I will send you an email to get your contact information and send it on to CLICK so you can receive your package!

Thanks to everyone who participated in the giveaway! I hope you decide to try a little sample package of CLICK!

What are your favorite salad ingredients? 

I NEED cheese and something spicy like jalapenos, and I also love beets.

Momofuku Ramen

Here in NYC, ramen places are super popular and evidently everyone but me has tried it at some point. I’m not a huge fan of asian foods; I rarely get cravings for sushi and I can’t eat chinese food anymore without getting an awful stomach ache for days. John had tried ramen at Momofuku which is really popular here so I decided to tag along and try it last week. I was weary going into it because I try not to experiment with foods too often because of my IBS, and I knew this was going to be at least a bit oily. We got to Momofuku a half hour before they re-opened for their dinner hours, and there was already a line forming.

 

[source]

Once inside, we were seated right at the kitchen bar which was so cool. It had a hibachi feel to it since you were watching the chef’s make the food literally a couple feet from you.

 

The menu is really small, just 1 page, and some options change daily. I’m not a fan of hot foods in general, which I’m aware makes me weird. I’d rather let food get cold before eating it, including soup! So I went with their chilled noodle option, which was called Chilled Spicy Noodles. It had spicy sausage, spinach and cashews in it which sounded plain enough for me!

 

Verdict? This is one of the TOP 5 BEST THING I’VE EVER EATEN IN MY LIFE. To be honest, the only other dish I’ve had that I can think of as being the “best” was the calamari salad at Morimoto. That was one of my first blog posts! Anyways, I’m generally a pretty slow eater but I wolfed this sucker down fast. Seriously- if you’re visiting NYC or live here but haven’t gone yet, I’m begging you to go. This was REALLY spicy, but that’s how I love it. The cashews were slightly candied (amazing) and the portion of noodles was perfect; not big at all which I was happy with! I’m already envisioning this meal sometime when I’m hungover. So salty. John went with the basic Momofuku ramen, and it was also really delicious.

 

That’s pork shoulder, green onions, seaweed, noodles, radish, and a poached egg.

With stuffed bellies, we of course still ordered dessert. The great thing about eating with John is we can order dessert to share and I can have just a bite, knowing he will devour the rest! With only 3 dessert options, we went with the Pancake Cake truffles. The waitress said they were basically cake pops that tasted like pancakes with syrup. Ummm, sold.

 

Stop. They were ridiculous.

GO THERE NOW. Or next time you visit. Please. Then talk to me in food porn terms after. Better yet, invite me with you

What is one of the top 5 best things you’ve ever eaten in your life? 

CLICK Protein Espresso Giveaway!

If you’re close with me, one thing you know about me is that I’m a coffee fiend. Iced coffee with soy milk, to be exact. It’s an every day necessity for me and it’s become less about the caffeine effect (let’s be honest, after years of drinking coffee it doesn’t exactly work like the first time and more about the amazing taste. When I heard about CLICK, the protein powder that actually contains espresso, I died a little. It had to be too good to be true right? I had seen it all over Skinny Runner’s blog and figured she wouldn’t lie about such a thing (girl likes her coffee too, and I trust her cause she ain’t afraid to use some artificially flavored creamer in hers! haha)  Luckily the great people at CLICK sent me some to try myself. I picked out a container of the mocha flavor, and they sent along a shaker bottle and a packet each of vanilla latte and mocha decaf.

I dug into the vanilla latte packet on my way to see the Jillian Michaels tour and mixed it with some unsweetened vanilla almond milk, about 1.25 cups worth.

Tasted awfully naughty, like it would have a whole ton of sugar and not a lot of protein. Turns out the packet (equivalent to 2 scoops out of the full size container) has 120 calories, 6 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein! Depending on what kind of milk you use you can have a great post-workout drink that could have 20+ grams of protein plus the pick-me-up delivered from caffeine!

See? Me with coffee = happy! Even in gross Long Island Rail Road bathrooms.

The mocha is delicious and definitely tastes like a sinful drink you’d get at the Bux! Fortunately for you you can save a lot of calories and sugar by using CLICK, not to mention money. One of my favorite ways to use the mocha flavor is actually not in the form of a drink! I introduce to you, mocha banana oatmeal.

This is my usual oat base (1/3 cup old fashioned oats, 1/2 tbsp chia seeds, 1/4 cup wheat bran, banana) with 1 scoop of the mocha CLICK. SO AMAZING! With melty cherry chocolate peanut butter on top? Dessert for breakfast ya’ll!

Last but not least, I tried the packet of decaf mocha as an afternoon snack. I don’t drink coffee after noon-ish anymore because it tends to give me a killer headache, so I love that decaf is an option when you want the protein and espresso taste without the caffeine boost. Tasted just like the regular mocha!

In the spirit of keeping it real let me add this: if you are a super “clean” eater, you probably won’t like that CLICK has a lot of ingredients in it. I don’t mind because everything else I eat tends to be pretty clean, and I do what I wanna do yo!

And because I love ya’ll and want you to experience the yummy-ness that is CLICK, I will be picking a winner to receive their own choice of flavor and a shaker bottle!

To enter, leave me a comment telling me what your favorite way to drink coffee is!

For additional entries:  

Go to Facebook and “like” CLICK’s page and leave a comment on their page telling them you are entering my giveaway (Artificially Balanced blog) and leave me a comment telling me you did! 
http://www.facebook.com/drinkclick

Follow CLICK on twitter: 
https://twitter.com/drinkclick
 and tweet about my giveaway! Come back and leave another comment telling me you did!

Also be sure to visit CLICK’s webpage. They have a great sample kit so you can try the flavors before committing to a full canister!

Contest will close Thursday May 23rd at 11:00 AM.

NOTE: You do not have to be a blogger yourself to comment and win! I appreciate and love all feedback so if you’re a reader and not a blogger, I’d love to see your comments on my posts!  

Post Race Blues & SVU (obvi)

I read about running constantly and I totally love being a runner nerd. I’ve read that after races some people experience “post race blues” and it’s never happened to me before, maybe because my races before hand were all relatively easy for me (4 miler, 5 miler, 10K). The half marathon was a solid 2+ months of training that took over my weekends and kept me almost completely alcohol free (save for a birthday night drink and a few on a Sunday evening after my longest run) and lost me about 8 pounds (guesstimating but around there.) My plan was to let my body rest from working out for the Monday-Friday after the race and do an easy run this past Saturday, then take Sunday off to have a week off from any long runs. I walked 4 miles with Brenda and her brother the day after the half, about 3 miles last Tuesday plus a little upper body lift, maybe 2-3 Wednesday and then nothing Thursday or Friday. I wasn’t feeling anxious about it until Friday, so I woke up Saturday and had a great workout.

 

A super hot and sweaty 4 mile run followed by an “8 minute arms” workout posted on Sometimes Healthy Living Blog. Great little burn from those 8 minutes!

I had barely any appetite all this past week and felt like my clothes were pretty loose. I think I definitely lost extra water weight after the half and then from not working out this week. When I did eat last week it wasn’t exactly quality or very clean, but it wasn’t overboard either. I figured with a week off from working out AND this semester being over, I’d be able to reset my body with extra sleep but that did not happen. It was the worst week of sleep I’ve gotten in years! Between allergies and travel, my body was out of whack and now it’s Monday and I’m beyond exhausted. Ugh!

So I’m just a ball of blah with a side of PMS. Not a good combo. But at least from all my nerd-runner reading, I know there is a definite blue period following a big race like a half or a full. And you may be wondering, am I considering a full? There is a full/half choice in my future this fall. The half is a no-brainer, of course I want to run it. It’s near my hometown in a beautiful part of upstate NY and it’s supposedly a very flat course. The full is $10 more than the half. The training for the half wasn’t too time consuming during the week (just some 3,4 milers) but a full training plan? Not that I have much of a social life these days anyways since I don’t love to drink anymore, but it’s such a commitment not to mention so harsh on your body. But I want to cross a full off my bucket list at some point… I’ve just always hoped it could be the NYC marathon! #DreamOn

On another note, I spent most of my weekend at work (thumbs down) but then the other part was spent with Brenda (thumbs up!) Saturday night we took over her boyfriend’s Upper West Side apartment while he was out of town and used it to… lay on the couch in the air conditioning watching TV and eating mexican food. Shhh don’t let him know how wild we are! Brenda introduced me to a Mexican food gem on the neighborhood called Comida Economica. We weren’t super hungry so we just ordered 1 taco for us each, some chips with pico de gallo and avocado cornbread. We got CACTUS tacos and besides kinda just looking and tasting like grilled green peppers, they were delicious. The food was super fresh and I can’t wait to eat there again!

I’m planning to go home after work tonight and just relax, and reset starting tomorrow since I will be off work the next two days. I am counting the seconds until my Ikea futon/bed is holding me tight.

For now, I leave you with a picture of me looking extremely exhausted (told ya I am) with the 2nd love of my life (1st is Chris Meloni duh) Detective Nick Amaro from Law and Order: SVU. He was casually walking up 58th street at 8:45 AM last Thursday as I was walking down it, and I of course yelled his (TV) name and he laughed and agreed to take a picture. Actual conversation that happened:

Me: “Great. Of course I look like shit for a picture with you.”

Detective Nick Amaro a.k.a. Danny Pino (real name): “You DON’T look like shit.”

He seriously emphasized the “don’t” so I can only take that to mean that he fell in love with me and wants to marry me soon.

 

Love you and your randomness, NYC.

Have you ever felt the post race blues?

If you’re an SVU fan (if not I can’t be friends with you) ; Stabler or Amaro?!

Binghamton Bridge Run Half Marathon

I cannot believe that it’s already been a week since my first half marathon! Part of me is even still riding the ridiculous runner’s high 7 days later My review will explain more but overall this race was the best race I’ve done thus far. I think it was because it was in my hometown, I got to run it with my best friend, and our families and friends were able to be there to support us since usually when we race in NYC they can’t. My fueling options were pretty ideal for my first half, my anxiety was through the roof (but not in a totally bad way) and I certainly learned I need to hydrate myself more, but let’s get into the recap! I had to make the point that almost nothing in my life has caused me to lose my appetite, but the anxiety of this race was one of the first. Not exactly ideal when you need to take in a good amount of calories to properly run 13 miles!

Saturday afternoon my mom and I headed to the expo for the Binghamton Bridge Run.

It was small and exciting, but sadly I didn’t recognize anyone in there so we were in and out in less than 5 minutes. I don’t have a picture of the swag bag but it was one of those little drawstring knapsacks with a reusable water bottle, stickers supporting Boston, and a bright yellow tech t-shirt that sadly was made for a Barbie. Lesson learned, do not order a small when you don’t know the material of the shirt. No biggie!

After speaking at the Weight Watchers meetings that morning, I was feeling so great but since I was obviously a little nervous I had major butterflies in my stomach that lasted alllll day which left me with absolutely no appetite- something that’s only happened to me about 4 times in my entire life. I choked down some oatmeal with biscoff spread melted on around 11 AM. Yes, even biscoff wasn’t appetizing to me but I took one for the team and ate it anyways. Lunch was 2 pieces of pizza from one of my favorite hometown pizza places, Tony’s. My mom had gotten a speidie from Lupo’s and gave me part of just the sub roll that had gotten soggy and saturated with the speidie seasonings, a.k.a. the best part of getting those subs! If you’re from upstate, you know why that soggy bread is so delicious. Brenda and I got a little bit of candy at Wegman’s, but a much smaller amount than normal. I had a few chocolate covered peanuts and 3 mini rolo’s. It wasn’t until many hours later that Brenda, my brother and his girlfriend settled at Panera Bread for a late dinner. Absolutely nothing sounded good except for a bagel and a baguette. Unfortunately they wouldn’t give me eggs on the bagel (another restaurant mystery to me, it’s not like after 11 AM their eggs just disappear from the kitchen?!) so I got the veggie sandwich on a whole grain bagel and a white baguette with bbq ranch to dip. I didn’t eat most of the veggies or apple (too much fiber) but the bagel and baguette seemed to be the perfect fuel, leaving me not at all stuffed (something you do not want to be the night before a race) but also not hungry an hour later. I ended the day with just about 2000 calories and a little over 300 grams of carbs. Not too bad for having to force it all down!

Sleep that night was basically non-existent. I just simply can’t sleep well when I have anxiety!

Wake-up call: 4:45 AM. Sadly, that isn’t different than my wake-up time for my normal workouts before work!

I foam-rolled, drank a tiny bit of soy iced coffee but just couldn’t get it down. I was feeling extra nervous because you don’t want to change anything on race day, and I’m used to drinking a glass of iced coffee before a long run. I drank some water, foam-rolled more, thankfully was able to go to the bathroom (yes.) and got changed to go pick up Brenda!

Pink has never been my color til recently, now almost all of my workout clothes are pink!

My brother was great and up at the crack of dawn to drop Brenda and I off. I ate a banana with a little PB in the car and 1 GU chomp and we roamed around the starting line for awhile just waiting to get things going! We were able to see one of our teachers from high school who is a great athlete and trained harder than us even with injuries! And one of our awesome friends Adrienne!

It was such a beautiful morning. Perfect temperature. Great people. It was a rare moment that I felt proud to be from my hometown

Finally, the race started and while we technically had no real time goal our whole training season.. I knew we had at least a 2:30 in us. Based on our long run paces that were consistently between 10:50-11:10, we could manage it but probably not faster because upstate NY is a higher elevation than NYC. And boy did I feel it. My breathing was pretty bad the first few miles but Brenda didn’t let me get negative and pushed me through the first half of the race. The first 6 miles definitely flew by, and I believe we took our first GU chomp right around 6. It was right around then that we also took a little pee break behind a gas station. One huge flaw in this race- LACK OF PORT-A-POTTIES. That took about 1 and a half minutes so I’d like to think our time would have been even better had we just peed our pants. Ya live and ya learn. I really don’t remember too much about the second half of the race… I think it was at 8 miles when I took my 2nd GU chomp, then when I tried to take the 3rd a bit later I had to spit it back out. The 9th mile was brutal. Riverside Dr. is essentially a total uphill in the direction we were going, and I was starting to feel dehydrated. We decided to stop for a a few seconds and stretch because both of our knees were really hurting, and my left foot and ankle started to feel super janky. Maybe 5 minutes later we stopped again to stretch, only for about 30 seconds both times, and I think it was the difference from running uphill to downhill that really hurt our knees.

Right before mile 10 was the biggest hill of the race. We were most likely running slower than we would have walking, but we refused to walk. At the top of the hill was a water station, and I was ready to puke so we we stopped and I downed 3 cups of water. I wish they were real full cups, but they were slightly bigger than dixie cups- a.k.a. not enough. The 10 mile mark was right there and we silently approached it knowing the last 3 miles were about to be brutal city. We were no longer talking much, and once we hit 11 miles, we were in mileage territory neither of us had been in before!

Halfway through mile 11 I got a gigantic gas bubble in my upper stomach/chest area and tried so hard to burp it out while running, but it was stabbing me and my breathing was that of a 90 year old in need of an oxygen tank. I stopped for a second to bend over, but started right back and figured I would just puke if need be… luckily a few minutes later I burped it out, loudly enough for everyone around to hear and laugh. Sorry guys! The last mile and a half were obviously awful and we felt like our bodies were falling apart. I dry heaved the last 10 minutes, until we finally turned the corner and saw the finish line with huge groups of people. My brother and Megan were so awesome and made us big signs!! Coolest thing ever. Our parents were right near the finish, and we gave it our all and sprinted. I literally felt like I was floating in the air and running 100 MPH for that last 7 seconds. We crossed the finish line in 2:29:15.

A picture couldn’t describe us better!

I love this girl to death.

I have never felt exhaustion like that in my life! But SO. PROUD!!!! Proud of myself, yes, but so proud of Brenda. I love that we were able to train together and I got to see her push herself and get into higher mileage that seemed so daunting in the beginning of our training. We kept each other motivated and I hope I can convince her to do more halfs with me Love you B!

And yep… think I caught the half bug. ‘Cause I’m certainly dreaming of my next one!

What was your first half marathon experience? 

Weight Watchers & Before Pics

Whew… it’s been a crazy week and a half. Sorry for the lack of posts, but it started with the beginning of finals week for my classes, then hopping on a bus at 11 PM last Thursday to head upstate for almost a week where I had one of the best, exciting and relaxing times off of work that I so desperately needed! This may be lengthy but at least it’s full of pictures!

Friday: After getting into Binghamton at 3 AM, I slept til 9-ish and headed out for a 6 mile run. I had just run 3 miles Thursday night before getting on the bus, and knew 6 miles 2 days before my first half may wreck my legs but I sort of had no choice.  I decided to rent a car for my time there (now that I’m at my old age of 25, I can! Woo!) and my only way to get to the car rental place was to run. I guess technically I could have walked, but I wanted to get there in about an hour so I ran!

It was HOT and I quickly remembered there is a pretty big difference in the elevation between NYC and the mountains of upstate NY. I’m semi-exaggerating, but it was a lot harder. Friday night I went to dinner with my brother and his girlfriend, and one of our great friends Jordan. We had dinner at TGI Fridays where I carbed up with a black bean veggie burger and sweet potato fries. We then headed to get bubble tea (iced coconut milk black with honey no sugar) , another source of carbs for me, and hung out in the parking lot with a soccer ball. It’s those kind of theres-nothing-else-to-do-in-this-town nights that make me miss living upstate!

Saturday: Saturday was an early wake-up time so I could begin the greatness of this weekend. I was honored to be asked to speak at 2 Weight Watchers meetings by the woman who changed it all for me. I joined Weight Watchers a few times in high school and always had success, but would stop going to the meetings and gain it all back (and then some.) My mom and I would go on Saturday mornings and the woman who led the meetings was named Heidi. She has a contagious energy about her and she sparked a light in me 8-9 years ago that ultimately led me to success. Although it took me a few tries and years later, I finally lost the weight I needed to and started viewing food and exercise as an important part of life.

At the beginning of each meeting, I shared my story and how Weight Watchers was the stepping stone for me. Due to an extremely hectic schedule during my weight loss (I worked 3 jobs and was a full-time online student) I wasn’t able to attend the meetings, but MAN- they are so extremely helpful and motivating. I was able to stay for the first full meeting and was in tears for the whole thing. I forgot the amazing energy and 100% support and love of complete strangers that you feel for those 45 minute meetings. It’s so real and honest, which I am huge on. There’s no talk of foods being ‘bad’ and they stress the importance of keeping a normal life- one which includes cake, pizza, champagne. Just in smaller quantities If you are having trouble losing weight and staying motivated, I highly recommend taking a stab at Weight Watchers. They are always running promotions and it’s not a commitment of any length if you don’t want it to be. It completely changed how I saw food and exercise and trust me- I ate pizza, cake, and champagne all throughout my weight loss and continue to do so! Weight Watchers is truly not a diet, and a great leader like Heidi will stress that. She even broke down the thought patterns and things that “dieters” say compared to those who are accepting that this must be a lifestyle change to be effective and long-term.

Heidi went above and beyond by presenting me with a certificate of accomplishment for losing 100+ pounds. Even though I didn’t follow the WW program for my entire weight loss! She is an amazing woman and I am still elated from how speaking and motivating a group of people made me feel. Also included was an awesome coffee mug with a great quote, and a cute little celebration cake!

It was truly the happiest I’ve been in such a long time. The group of people were all so different but we all shared the same common problem and were there to fix it. I never thought I would have the ability to make a room full of people cry inspired tears!

One of the main points she touched on in the meeting I was able to attend was the stigma of the ‘before’ picture. She held hers up and explained that she has kept it on top of her fridge for over 20 years, as a constant reminder to never venture back to that weight again. But what she admitted is that every time she looked at that picture, her thoughts were so negative. It was “ew” and plenty of other negative thoughts about the woman in that picture. But what about the fact that the woman in the before picture, is the woman who had enough courage and strength to come to her first Weight Watchers meeting? What about that woman who decided her health and future were important enough to her to get healthy and happy? That woman was strong, determined, and amazing. That woman is who she still is today. Just 70+ lbs lighter! It really got me thinking about my reaction to my old pictures and how I always feel the need to make a joke before showing anyone or before posting it on Instagram with a wise-ass caption. I feel sometimes grossed out by looking at them, and then remember that sometimes (honestly, often) I still look in the mirror, 100 pounds smaller, and still feel grossed out. It’s something I have to deal with daily, to know that I am super fit, strong, and healthy but still have extra skin in places that cover my muscle definition. You can see and feel the muscles in my arms, but underneath there is extra skin that doesn’t seem to want to tighten up. I have awesome definition in most of my legs, but extra skin on my very upper thighs that luckily only one person other than me and my gynecologist gets to see. Haha! I can feel strong abdominal muscles, but most of my extra skin is on my stomach- meaning NO ONE gets to see that (with the lights on, anyways ). It is by far my most embarrassing  self-conscious place on my body and I have absolutely learned to live with it, yes, but in no way should we be grossed out by ourselves! Heavy or light! We are really so much more than our outer appearance. I have always been a friendly, upbeat and fun person and have always had a good amount of friends because of that. I’ve had the ability, both when I was heavy and thin, to make people smile, laugh and feel better about themselves. My weight never determined that, me as the person that I am determines that. So why do I degrade that girl 100 bigger, with the same heart that I still have? If anything, my heart has grown with compassion, forgiveness, and love. No more beating her up.

21st birthday (4 years ago)

5 years ago, summer 2008

The other aspect of the ‘before’ picture she talked about was related to her husband, and how he fell in love with her when she WAS her before picture. It rang so true to me because of John and I. Having been together most of the last 7 years, I can say that he has always been my #1 supporter in EVERYTHING I do, but he never acted differently towards me when I lost weight. We are closer now than ever before just from our willingness to work on our relationship even when it’s been really bad, and never giving up. I don’t think he’s anything special BECAUSE he was with me when I was heavy, and I really hate when people try to put an emphasis on that. He loves me for the person I am and that person is still (mostly) the same crazy, annoying, loud, outspoken person that I was 100 pounds ago! Okay, I may be questioning his love for me with those adjectives. He doesn’t get a gold star for loving me at my heaviest. He definitely gets a gold star for always believing in me even when I had no faith left. And hearing me talk about food and exercise 24/7. And loving me even though I’m always missing a toenail from running, and I’m generally sweaty or exhausted from said running. He has such a big heart and I am so lucky to have him and even more lucky he has stuck around through everything I’ve put him through- let’s just say it’s a lot, mmkay I’m so thankful for him because I don’t think I could have done it without him and his constant support.

New Years Eve 2008

OC, Maryland Summer 2010

OC, Maryland 2010

Visiting NYC months before we moved- Fall 2010

NYC- January 2011

Our birthdays this year- March 2013

I also could not have done this without my family and their constant support, and my amazing best friend Brenda. Not to mention the hundreds of people I just know, not even close friends with, who have supported me via Facebook. Support is something you absolutely need while losing weight. If you find you can’t get the support you need from friends and family (which why would you choose unsupportive friends? Kick them to the curb! Trust me, I had to with a few!) Weight Watchers is such a great choice because of the huge support group you are stepping into.

Tomorrow I will have my half marathon recap up!!

Have you ever tried Weight Watchers? Were you successful? If not, why did it not work for you?